You are My friends... (Jn.15:14)

You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. (Jn.15:14)

For three years Jesus walked with His disciples, they ate and slept together, without parting, but Jesus never called them His friends until Judas revealed himself and left their midst in order to finally betray Him.

Why do I say "finally", because betrayal always begins gradually, from day to day, and it can become apparent to us on the most inappropriate day, unexpected for us but, of course, not for the Lord. There are no unexpected surprises for Him, He even warned them Himself that one of them had the intention to betray Him. But the intention was not stopped even by His warning, because it had matured a long time ago, and not at that very moment.

So, addressing His disciples, Jesus calls them His friends at the very moment when Judas left their midst. Jesus could not offer friendship to the one betraying Him. This was the moment they became closer to Him, close enough to be recognised as friends of the Lord. It can be said that this is a higher calling in which a close relationship is associated with being entrusted with mysteries, as Jesus Himself explained.  No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. (Jn.15:15). 

 We know a few people whom God has called His friends. We can all call and consider Him as our friend, and this is true, but not all are friends to Him, that is the difference. It is said about Abraham that God called him a friend: And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. (Jam.2:23), it is said about Moses that he is a friend of God: So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend. And he would return to the camp, but his servant Joshua the son of Nun, a young man, did not depart from the tabernacle. (Ex.33:11). I think that I will not be mistaken in saying that God has called David His friend, as well as those whom the whole world was not worthy of, those who gave their life for God and did not betray Him under any circumstances.

Friendship must always be tested, and God tests friendship through fire. In order for Him to call someone a friend, a person must prove himself a friend in trials. A friend is not one who raises a toast to you over a glass of wine, but one who, in the most difficult moment of your life, is there to support and share grief and misfortune. At the Last Supper table, everyone swore friendship to Jesus and with their words denied any betrayal. Peter said that he was ready for many sacrifices for the sake of friendship with Jesus: ...“Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death.” Then He said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me.” (Lk.22:33,34). Alas, this is what happened. As soon as they took Jesus and led Him away, the friendship of His disciples was immediately tested. The one ready to go to prison and to death, denied Him, others fled, some even ran naked from the garden. Fear drove them when no one pursued them. Were they friends to Jesus at that moment, in the moment of His weakness? Of course not. They had been called by Jesus to become His friends, but they were not friends yet – this would happen later. Even when Jesus went to Golgotha ​​with the heaviest cross of condemnation, who lent their shoulder to share this reproach with Him? A simple passer-by Simon, walking from the field, carried Jesus’ cross of condemnation with Him. Where were the disciples at that moment? A friend is one who carries condemnation along with a friend, not just his glory. At the cross of Jesus stood His real friends at that moment, who were not afraid of condemnation, ridicule and, perhaps, the same fate; those who did not judge Him along with the rest, but took His side, under His cross of condemnation, therefore Jesus entrusted His friend John to take care of His Mother Mary.

Paul also experienced the betrayal of his friends, when he was going through a difficult time, the loved ones who he relied on as support, left him: At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. (2Tim.4:16,17). 

Why does this happen? Because everyone seeks their own, and no one seeks what is God's, therefore friendship is based on profit, and not on love. If not Agape, then at least the phileo love should be present. When Jesus, after Peter's denial, twice asked him if he Agape Him, Peter answered both times that he phileo Jesus, that is, he did not even know the love of Agape and spoke about it openly, but with the love of phileo, that is, as a friend, he thought he loved Jesus. And then Jesus asked Peter for the third time if he loved Him with phileo, that is, as a friend. If he loved like a friend, then he could become a pastor of His sheep. Although Peter

did not betray Jesus as openly as Judas, still, in a difficult moment, he denied Him, which is also a betrayal of friendship. For this, Peter greatly repented and reproached himself when his fear had passed: And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” So Peter went out and wept bitterly. (Lk.22:61,62). This is why he fled to the grave when he heard the news that the grave was empty and that Jesus was resurrected. Peter's feeling of guilt was present during his conversation with Jesus about love, when Jesus asked Peter if he Agape Him. Peter understood that such a question would not have arisen if there had not been a renunciation on his part. And yet, Peter loved Jesus, but not more than his own life, he acquired Agape later.

 Friendship is about responsibility and commitment. Not everyone understands what friendship is, and not everyone knows how to be friends, even among themselves. But if you cannot be friends with a person, how will you be friends with God? A friend is a calling, not a mercenary or a hireling, but a person dedicated to friendship. You can be a friend to everyone and, at the same time, not have friends.

You can involuntarily turn out to be a friend in a difficult moment, and you can lose a friendship, leaving in a difficult moment, or, even worse, condemning for the calamity and the moment of weakness, wishing, thereby, to justify God's judgment on those who were reputed to be righteous, in a time when God was just testing friendship with fire.

When the Lord tests the strong, who are called to be a friend to Him, for devotion and love, at this time their friends are also tested for the purity of their relationship. The proverb says that a friend in need is a friend indeed, it is impossible not to agree with this. A striking example is seen with Job. God decided to test Job, and a time of great suffering and unbearable sorrow began for him. The fire burned him: his bones and soul, and so his friends came to support him in trouble. But was it really so? Did they come with a sincere heart filled with phileo to sympathize and support Job, or to satisfy their envy of Job that had been burning in them for years? Job calls them friends and, nevertheless, differentiates from this concept those whom he calls sincere, all of them departed from his ulcers. He explains that sincere friends would have empathy, rather than judgement: My relatives have failed, and my close friends have forgotten me. (Job.19:14), “To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. (Job.6:14), “Have pity on me, have pity on me, O you my friends, for the hand of God has struck me! (Job.19:21). In the same way, David describes his suffering and how those, who he considered sincere, stepped away from him in the time of his ulcers: My loved ones and my friends stand aloof from my plague, and my relatives stand afar off. (Ps. 38:11).

 In a short time Job lost everything: influence in society, power, strength, property and children, and even health. And through the humiliated state of Job, his friends were also tested, in areas which they did not suspect. As we can see from the book of Job, Job passed his test and even satisfied God's recognition of him as a righteous man and friend. But his friends fell not only in the eyes of Job, but also in the eyes of God, and the friendships turned out to be untenable.

Job's humiliated state revealed the envious hearts of his friends, the bitterness of their souls poured out in accusatory speeches and in the statement that they had noticed this before. All of this was covered by the fact that they stood for the truth and righteousness of God's judgments. They, as it were, expected this, and everything was considered a punishment by them. Instead of compassion, Job heard accusations, they scourged the one who needed support and comfort. Here Job's first friend, Eliphaz, spoke out his accusation: Is not your reverence your confidence? And the integrity of your ways your hope? “Remember now, who ever perished being innocent? Or where were the upright ever cut off? Even as I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same. By the blast of God they perish, and by the breath of His anger they are consumed. (Job.4:6-9). Job sought compassion, but is it possible to seek compassion from those who were not friends with the soul of Job, but friends with his glory. Jesus is also said to have sought compassion but did not find it: Reproach has broken my heart, and I am full of heaviness; I looked for someone to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none. They also gave me gall for my food, and for my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink. (Ps.69:20,21). From whom did He seek compassion and comfort, was it not from friends? But He did not find it, because the people longed only to receive from Him, to use His glory and His anointing. Without all this, He was not needed by anyone except those who truly loved Him, whose friendship manifested itself in the process of His reproach and suffering.

So, friends are not revealed when a person is honored and in glory, but when a person is in humiliation, in suffering and ulcers. And Job gives a definition of their manifested friendship: “To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. My brothers have

dealt deceitfully like a brook, like the streams of the brooks that pass away, which are dark because of the ice, and into which the snow vanishes. When it is warm, they cease to flow; when it is hot, they vanish from their place. (Job.6:14-17).

 The second friend, Bildad, also tried to find excuses for what happened in the sin of Job or his children and, in the end, pronounced a terrible judgment on Job: You who tear yourself in anger, shall the earth be forsaken for you? Or shall the rock be removed from its place? “The light of the wicked indeed goes out, and the flame of his fire does not shine. The light is dark in his tent, and his lamp beside him is put out. The steps of his strength are shortened, and his own counsel casts him down. For he is cast into a net by his own feet, and he walks into a snare. The net takes him by the heel, and a snare lays hold of him. (Job.18:4-9). How menacingly scary the speeches of the accuser can be, especially when they are spoken on behalf of God.

And finally, the third friend also finds himself in collusion and agreement with the other two and pronounces his accusations against Job: Should your empty talk make men hold their peace? And when you mock, should no one rebuke you? For you have said, ‘My doctrine is pure, and I am clean in your eyes.’ But oh, that God would speak, and open His lips against you, that He would show you the secrets of wisdom! For they would double your prudence. Know therefore that God exacts from you less than your iniquity deserves. (Job.11:3-6). Here is the wish of this friend: to be punished twice more. “You, Job, have not yet learned about yourself,” Zophar said. Apparently, he can see more from the side of the prosecutor. 

Job's righteousness was ridiculed by his friends, and on the day of his calamity, the souls of his friends were naked before him. Until that time, they were hidden from Job by polite visits and loving speeches, seasoned with the presentation of gifts as a sign of friendship.

During his time of suffering, Job did not know what was happening to him, but in his heart he felt that he was honest with God and therefore answered like this: “No doubt you are the people, and wisdom will die with you! But I have understanding as well as you; I am not inferior to you. Indeed, who does not know such things as these? “I am one mocked by his friends, who called on God, and He answered him, the just and blameless who is ridiculed. A lamp is despised in the thought of one who is at ease; it is made ready for those whose feet slip. The tents of robbers prosper, and those who provoke God are secure in what God provides by His hand. (Job.12:2-6). Although Job tries to reason with his friends, they enjoy his humiliation. The question is, can a person justify themselves to the person who wants to condemn them? Now hear my reasoning, and heed the pleadings of my lips. Will you speak wickedly for God, and talk deceitfully for Him? Will you show partiality for Him? Will you contend for God? Will it be well when He searches you out? Or can you mock Him as one mocks a man? He will surely rebuke you if you secretly show partiality. Will not His excellence make you afraid, and the dread of Him fall upon you? Your platitudes are proverbs of ashes, your defenses are defenses of clay. (Job.13:6-12). 

A friend is a calling that also is attained through the fire of trials and temptations. If you do not learn to be friends with a person, you will not be able to be friends with God. God will not call anyone His friend without first testing his friendship for faithfulness. Job, as it turned out, did not have friends, there were three envious people close to him, waiting for an opportunity to mock him, so the wrath of God flared up on them: And so it was, after the Lord had spoken these words to Job, that the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “My wrath is aroused against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has. Now therefore, take for yourselves seven bulls and seven rams, go to My servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and My servant Job shall pray for you. For I will accept him, lest I deal with you according to your folly; because you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has.” (Job.42:7,8). 

The friendship between David and Jonathan was also tested by David's calamities, but it survived because Jonathan was a true friend of David. God is looking for true and faithful friends for Himself, and it is impossible to be an unfaithful friend in human friendships and to be a faithful friend for the Lord. True friendship is always built on love. John says: If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? (1Jn.4:20).

Pastor Taysa Kotov

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